Purpose

I wrote yesterday about how I was not waiting on the Lord for his help, about how I would pray and then just jump into the right direction that I thought would be right. From time to time we do that, we think everything through and go with what we think the best direction is. Well it took me a long time to figure out that, our "best direction" is not always the right direction. I have always had a hard time waiting for some thing, weather it be Christmas morning, or waiting for Katie to finish getting ready to go some where. God does not run on our time clock, he knows how everything is planned out and how it is going to go down. When we asked Jesus for help, we do not know how he is going to help us. We do not know if he is getting a person that we care about or love to call us, or meet us for lunch to help us. We tend to think that when we ask, He, Himself is going to wave his hand and BOOM, it is done, it is fixed, it is taken care of. I mean yeah, he can do that, he said let there be light and BOOM it was light, but that is not how he solves our problems. I have learned that some times, when we ask him for help, he says o.k., I'll help, and he sends a co-worker over just to ask, "hey hows your day going?" or "hey, lets go have lunch, you seem like you want to talk about some thing." Thats God working through people, working through Christians, friends, co-workers. I have learned to open my eyes and my heart, wait for his answer and be prepared for anything. 
A while back I was working in a factory, and I hated my job so bad. There was not a thing that I did right, not a single thing person talked to me. On top of it all, I was brand new to fatherhood, and I was working swing shift and we were told to move out of our apartment, that we had just got done painting, and moving into and I needed to find a new house, so on and so on. The stress was just so much, on top of hating my job, I was at the end of my rope. One night I was working midnight shift, and a huge order had come in, I had already been there my eight hours, had already worked well over 40 hours that week. My boss came to me and said "Eric, I need you to stay, John is going home because he did not want to stay. so your staying" I had to no choice, I needed to stay or I knew they would fire me, and I could not lose my job. But I was tired, and God knows Katie was, she was taking care of Troy by her self, but I had to stay. The small piece of rope that was holding me together broke right then and there, and I told myself, thats it I cant do this anymore, I can't work here, I can't handle the stress of finding a new place, or moving, and not having enough money, and not having a life.....you get the idea. On my way home that night, I could not clam down and I decided to take my truck off a bridge on my way home. Now I was about 2 miles away from that bridge, when I came up with that idea, and for those of you that know how I drive, that means God had about a one minute and ten seconds before I came to that bridge. When I was about 500 feet from the bridge I down shifted into third gear and aimed for the guard rail and put my foot to the floor. In that second, my truck went for 80 mph to dead stop. I had not touched the brake pedal, actually my foot was still on the gas, the truck did not shut off, nothing happened. It just stopped. At the same time, I heard a voice, and everything went dark, I thought I was dreaming that the truck stopped and I had already hit the bottom of the river, but I wasn't. The voice spoke to me and said "I have a plan for you, a purpose, I will care for you, and your family. I will provide" The light had come back, and I was sitting safely on the side of the road crying. That was a very dark day for me, even after the light came back, I went home that morning to find Katie and Troy sleeping in my bed waiting for me to come home to wake them like I always did, and that night Katie had left me a note saying, "we had a good night daddy, we missed you, wake us when you come home, Love Katie" I broke down right then and there, I could not believe I almost was not there, never to be there again. The Lord saved my life, end of story.
I have never told anyone about that night except Katie, and I am not proud of the fact that I felt that was the only way to fix my problems, and how selfish I was, to leave Katie by herself. But the Lord had been pushing the issue, for me to share this part of my life, even though I did not want to, I have learned that he is right and I am not always right. I pray that whom ever needed to read that understands that leaving this world on your own directions is not the right way. Jesus has laid down a map for us to follow, and he has given us better directions than a map quest. Jesus has a plan for you, and he will guide your better than a tom tom, if you let him. I know it, it sounds corny, the weekend warrior in me tells me, that it is not true, but believe me, It is. I would not be here if it was not for Jesus, and his plan. Even a weekend warrior can be a part in God's plan. I ask you to talk to him, pray to him, seek his map, seek his direction. You will never wish you had not. 


I pray that the Lord blesses you this day,
Eric